10 Sep 2011

The current issue of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can be found at
http://thefridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com  (full media) and
 at http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/fridayfunniesbydrbernie (text-only).
 
The archives will one day reside again at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net

Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at
fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

10 September 2011

Hi Everyone!  

Yeah yeah, it’s Saturday not Friday … I’m a little slow … but you know that already!  Hope you have a great weekend!

:-)> Dr Bernie

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Contributions This Week From  
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• Annie Shum & from Subhash Agrawal – Will Everyone Get This?
• FeedBlitz – How Empathy Happens
• Chas Young – Reminiscing About the Good Old Days
• Tom Sokolowski – I Dialed a Number & Got the Following Recording
• Fred Silver – My Life Broken Down Into Segments
• Tom Sokolowski – Can You Read This?
• Joel Goldstein – High Holidays Chuckle
• Tom Sokolowski – Good Quote
• Barbara Rosenberg – Some Web Humor
• Joanne Tenaglio – Happy Anniversary

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fROM Annie Shum & from Subhash Agrawal – Will Everyone Get This?

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Didja Get It?

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fROM FeedBlitz – How Empathy Happens~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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 fROM Chas Young – Reminiscing About the Good Old Days
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fROM Tom Sokolowski – I Dialed a Number & Got the Following Recording
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I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

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A small boy recently wrote to Santa Claus saying," send me a brother."

Santa wrote him back saying, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."

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What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and Mattress.

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What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when your wife is pregnant,

Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant,

Panic is when both are pregnant at the same time.

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A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?"

The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory, and these are customer complaints".

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A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"

The dad replies, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."

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Nominated as the best short joke this year:

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied

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fROM Fred Silver – My Life Broken Down Into Segments
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fROM Tom Sokolowski – Can You Read This?
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Have you seen this before? It's fascinating. After a couple of minutes adjusting most people can read this almost as fast as properly spelled words.

No Problem at All.........

Morse  Code is this way too.  The great code operators didn't separate the letters but actually heard the words or, in some cases entire sentences.

This will put your dyslexia into a catatonic fit!

eonvrye taht can raed tihs rsaie yuor hnad. 

Isn’t it interesing that only boys have their hands up?  

To my  'selected' strange-minded friends:

If you  can read the following paragraph, forward it on to  your friends and the person that sent it to you  with 'yes' in the subject line..

This is weird, but interesting!

fi  yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid  too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe  out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee  taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was  rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid,  aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,  it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a  wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the  frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The  rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it  whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid  deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod  as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot  slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs  forwrad it

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU  CAN READ IT

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fROM Joel Goldstein – High Holidays Chuckle
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Since we’re only two weeks or so away from the High Holy Days, might as well remind you …

"Hi. This is Sarah Palin. Is Senator Lieberman in?"

"No, governor. This is Yom Kippur."

"Well, hello, Yom. Can I leave a message?"

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fROM Tom Sokolowski – Good Quote
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"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in five years there'd be a shortage of sand."

--Milton Friedman, American economist and Nobel Prize recipient

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fROM Barbara Rosenberg – Some Web Humor
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fROM Joanne Tenaglio – Happy Anniversary
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Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!" The next morning when his wife woke up, she looked out the window to find a box… gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. . .

Bob has been missing since Friday!

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Hope everybody has a great weekend!

tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended. Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at
fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

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Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES will one day be found again at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net

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Dr. Bernie Domanski
 Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
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