Thursday, December 31, 2009

31 Dec 2009

** Last fUNNIES of 2009 - Whoohoo! **

About as good as it gets ... Thanks to Annie Shum for shooting this one over ... just too good!

A couple of other fUNNIES just to keep you amused too ..

Best wishes for 2010 - And if you get it, there's a 3 Stooges Marathon on AMC (I think) tonite! (Thanks Dave)

..............:) Dr Bernie

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From Dr Annie - The Recap of 2009
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKYe1KiwywE

-- OR --




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From Stan Kegel - Some Punnies
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SCHOOL WORK

Define "Eyedropper": A clumsy eye doctor

Define "Reduce": The tennis game is tied again.

Use "Propane" in a sentence: My dentist doesn't believe in anesthesia. He's PROPANE.

Signs: Posted on an overpass near a wedding chapel: "Watch for rice on bridge." (Gary Hallock)

PUNS & OTHER HUMOR
Show me the place where Lenin is buried and I'll show you a communist plot.

So it was my birthday. I had a big party, and my friend made me a birthday cake. He brought it out, and it was a savory cake. It had a doughy base, with cheese and all sorts of other toppings sprinkled on top. I said, "That must have taken a lot of effort to make." He told me, "No, it was a pizza cake."

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From Frank Ingrassia - Challenging Geography Puzzle
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DO YOU KNOW THE MIDDLE EAST???? Just click on the link below



Drag the country's name onto the map. Don't fear making an error, and once you finish the puzzle, you will be far more educated about this intense section of our world.

http://www.rethinkingschools.org/just_fun/games/mapgame.html

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From Cousin Eliane Lederman - Tiger's Holiday Poem
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'Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house,

Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry, Cause a bimbo's phone
number was in his Blackberry.

He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed,
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika - the world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you're gettin' laid, then I'm gettin' paid."
She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year.


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From SymonSays - Oscar and Stella
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Oscar and Stella, an older couple were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table nearby notices old Oscar slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, while Stella sat quite unconcerned.


Believing that something was seriously wrong with Oscar the waitress finished taking the order and came over to Stella and said, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh, no he didin't. In fact, my husband just walked in the front door."


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From Barbara Rosenberg - Apartment Rental
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RENTED QUARTERS


A well-known businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500. So they did.

Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:

Dear Madam,

Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:

1) it had never been occupied

2) that there was plenty of heat

3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:


Dear Sir,

First of all, I cannot understand how you expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady.

Send the rent in full or I will be forced to contact your present landlady!


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Happy New Year!
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From Dr Bernie,2009, All Rights Reserved worth reserving!

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