This Week in the fRIDAY fUNNIES bY dR bERNIE
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The archives will return to http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net someday soon!
The machine went belly up but I have a backup).
Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at
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fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
18 February 2011
Hi Everyone! A short blast of spring today ... which makes me degenerate! Hope the weekend has the same effect on you!
:-)> Dr Bernie
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Contributions This Week From -
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Contributions This Week From -
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- Sokolowski – How is Norma
- Sokolowski – A Real Woman
- SymanSays – Joke of the Day
- Feedblitz – Clean Water for All
- Daymiller via Sokolowski – David is being Returned
- SymanSays – English Language – Easy?
- Feedblitz - Sickened by Saliva Swapping
- SymanSays – Making Some Money Over the Summer
- Daymiller via Sokolowski – What a Prank
- Daymiller via Sokolowski – High School Reunion
fROM Sokolowski – How is Norma?
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A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital.
She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
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A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital.
She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said,"No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."
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fROM Sokolowski – A Real Woman
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A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. . .
No wait... Sorry... I'm thinking of beer. That's what beer does... Never mind.
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fROM SymanSays – Joke of the Day
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Sign Language: -From Reader's Digest, Laughter the Best Medicine II-
fROM SymanSays – Joke of the Day
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Sign Language: -From Reader's Digest, Laughter the Best Medicine II-
The New Jersey Trail Conference was preparing to move from its longtime home in New York City to Mahwah, N.J. The day before the big move, the following sign appeared on the door:
"Here today, gone to Mahwah."
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fROM Feedblitz – Clean Water for All
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fROM Feedblitz – Clean Water for All
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| http://thisisindexed.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/card2815.jpg |
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fROM Daymiller via Sokolowski – David is being Returned
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fROM Daymiller via Sokolowski – David is being Returned
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David Is To Be Returned To Italy. A bit of cultural news for a welcome change.
After a two year loan to the United States, Michelangelo's David is being returned to Italy...
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| Original David |
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| David: 2 Years Later |
His Proud Sponsors were:
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| Starbucks |
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| Burger King |
|
| McDonalds |
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fROM SymanSays – English Language – Easy?
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Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
fROM SymanSays – English Language – Easy?
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Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.
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| http://thisisindexed.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/card2812.jpg |
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fROM SymanSays – Making Some Money Over the Summer
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A young student was trying to earn some money over the summer. He knocked at the door of a rich man's house and asked if there was anything he could do.
fROM SymanSays – Making Some Money Over the Summer
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A young student was trying to earn some money over the summer. He knocked at the door of a rich man's house and asked if there was anything he could do.
"Yes, the man replied, you can paint the porch. The paint and brushes are in the garage." Three hours later, the student came back and reported.
"Well, it's all painted but I gotta tell you, that's not a Porshe,
it's a Ferrarri."
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fROM Daymiller via Sokolowski – What a Prank
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Z:\Documents\Outlook Temp\gags_.wmv
fROM Daymiller via Sokolowski – What a Prank
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Z:\Documents\Outlook Temp\gags_.wmv
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fROM Daymiller via Sokolowski – High School Reunion
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Z:\Documents\Outlook Temp\High_School_Reunion.wmv
fROM Daymiller via Sokolowski – High School Reunion
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Z:\Documents\Outlook Temp\High_School_Reunion.wmv
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Hope everybody has a great weekend!
tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended. Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at
fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
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Dr. Bernie Domanski
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